Pseudotherapy

1. There is always someone who’s worse off than you ? and who’s writing about it with more talent.

2. Bloggers generally hate where they live, and wish they lived in Canada/California/England.

3. Twitter is the new foreplay.

4. Nothing is ever truly secret if the internet is involved.

5. A blogger’s reluctance to attend meet-ups is usually in direct proportion to how unlike their blog persona they are in real life.

6. You can love someone dearly without ever having met them in person.

7. The three best ways to generate traffic to your blog are:
????a. Post an outrageously controversial “political” statement.
??? b. Sponsor a charitable fundraiser.
??? c. Post nude photos of yourself.

8. The blogosphere has a much higher percentage of attractive, intelligent people than the real world.

9.?Some people?apparently take great pride in being arrogant assholes.

10. No matter what you write, someone somewhere will think it’s?about them.

1. Nobody told me that 12 Monkeys was a sci-fi film.
2. Nobody told me that 12 Monkeys has a post-apocalyptic setting.
3. Nobody told me that a key plot element in 12 Monkeys is the spread of a deadly virus.
4. Nobody told me that a key plot element in 12 Monkeys is time travel.
5. Nobody told me that 12 Monkeys was directed by the fiendishly brilliant Terry Gilliam.
6. Nobody told me that Brad Pitt, for the second time in his career, actually ACTS in 12 Monkeys.
7. Nobody told me that 12 Monkeys would play Twister with my brain to a degree equaled only by The Matrix.
8. Nobody told me that the basic plot of 12 Monkeys is Bruce Willis saves the world!!!
9. Nobody told me that Bruce Willis is NAKED in 12 Monkeys ? more than once!
10. Nobody told me that 12 Monkeys would instantly become one of my favorite Bruce movies.

Yeah, as a matter of fact I did just see 12 Monkeys for the very first time. Yeah, I’m pretty upset. For 13 years, I’ve been under the impression that 12 Monkeys was Brad Pitt portraying a patient in a psychiatric hospital. I knew Bruce Willis was in it, but for some reason had the idea that he was just a supporting character, a fellow patient. Yeah, dumb=me. People, he is The Star. The Man Who Saves The World. Why did no one explain this to me? My family and friends know that I would pretty much watch a colonic irrigation if it involved Bruce Willis. Multiple close-ups of his muscular buttocks would just be cream on the panties cupcake. And that list up there covers every damn one of my favorite movie elements. Well, except a xenomorph. Oh, and ZOMBIES.

Thirteen years I could have been enjoying this mind-blowing film. Damn. I suck.

1. Making soup from scratch is not nearly as difficult as I thought ? and is definitely worth the trouble.
2. Do not subscribe to Avitable’s comments unless you’re prepared to come home to 187 emails about butt-crack hair, masturbation and religious figures on biscuits.
3. Sometimes it has to be enough to just be clean, neat and on time.
4. Gamer’s thumb is unbelievably painful.
5. “Ghost Hunters” is sneakily addictive ? even when you think it’s all a load of twaddle.
6. It is possible to feel both hot and cold at the same time.
7. I haven’t made much progress in building self-confidence.
8. There is no brand of panties within my price range that fits me comfortably. (Anybody have a recommendation?)
9. My novel-in-progress is not nearly as good as I used to think it was.
10. More women enjoy viewing porn than you would imagine.

And how was your week, dear readers?

[tags]Lists, Ghost Hunters, panties[/tags]

Karl did this yesterday, and it comes at a good time since I’m trying to get my 100 Things completed. And every time I do a meme of this type, I get to add a few more things to my list! Besides which, I’m kind of on a list kick lately. Even been thinking about reactivating Chronic Listaholic.

So here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting that you did.

Here’s my six things:

1. I have a 24-inch inseam.?Although I am?only 5 feet tall, that is SHORT. Even though I buy my pants in Petite length, they are always too long. My legs are so short, they just barely reach to the ground.
2. I have a bamboo plant named Ping, which is the Chinese word for balance. It also has geeky connotations, which is perfect for me. Ping was an office-warming gift from my BFF Sheryl.
3. I own more vinyl albums than CDs. Probably five times as many, actually.
4. I hate lettuce. HATE IT. I take it off sandwiches, and will only eat salads if they are drenched in dressing.
5. I have a very difficult time going to sleep without a cat on or against me. This is?a definite problem?when I travel.
6. I can barely bring myself to drink bottled water because of the bacteria levels in it. The only brand I truly trust is Dasani. This is what happens when you watch too much Discovery Science.

I do not tag, but please feel free to grab this if you wish.

Happy Valentine’s Day, beloved readers! Today I’m participating in Hilly’s Self-Love Day, celebrating this most dreaded of days by finding stuff we love about OURSELVES. And because Dave2 is guilt-tripping me, I’ve chosen to present a list of not one, but TEN things I love about myself. So let’s get on with it, shall we?

1. I rite gud. No really, I do. And you must agree, or you wouldn’t keep coming back, right?
2. I’m funny. Okay yes, my feet, but I’m referring to my wit. Seriously, I totally crack myself up sometimes. Lots of times, actually. And not just when I’m trying on swimsuits.
3. I have a good eye. For photography, I mean. But that reminds
   me …
4. My eyes. They’re brown. Coffee Brown, I’ve been told. I like them a lot, even if they’re somewhat harder to find now than they used to be.
5. I’m honest. Some people call it tactless. Whatever. It’s one of the few Sagittarius traits I possess ? I tend to speak first and face the consequences later. This is also one of the 10 things I hate about me, depending on how what I just blurted was received. Ahem.
6. I have a loving heart. I don’t love everybody (besides Lindsay Lohan, who does?), but when I like someone, it’s just a short step to embracing them with my whole heart. And I’m very affectionate by nature, which is occasionally misinterpreted. I’m not actually in love with all my male blogfriends. Just Karl.
7. My teeth. An all-natural smile. Although I’ve never had orthodontia, dentists have told me I have one of the most perfect natural alignments they’ve ever seen.
8. I’m healthy. I may be fat, but otherwise I’m in pretty damn good shape for an old broad! I’m extremely grateful for that, too.
9. I’m an excellent employee. Don’t laugh! This is something to be proud of in this age of slackers. As the [deleted] at Incognotorious, Inc. I have a great deal of responsibility and a double buttload of work. I give them my all and then some, every single day. Lucky for me I love every minute of it.
10. I’m a good mama. I challenge anyone to best me at nurturing. As proof, I offer my beloved only child, Juli, who rocks the world’s socks off on a daily basis.

Wow, I am so much more awesome than I realized!

And now, in keeping with the spirit of Self-Love Day, I invite each of you to comment on something YOU love about me! Also, please visit all the other bloggers who are playing today.

Pink Paisley Puffy Patchwork Heart Hugs,
SJ

[tags]Self Love Day, lists, I <3 me[/tags]