First, thanks to everyone for your congratulations and support for my weight-loss efforts. Believe me, they are welcome and needed.
Several people expressed interest in how I lost 20 pounds in 21 days, so I thought I’d explain. I haven’t mentioned anything about it until now because, honestly, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stick it out. I didn’t want to make a big announcement that I was embarking on yet another diet, only to drop the whole thing ten days later. I’m over the toughest part now, or so I’m told, so I feel comfortable talking about it.
At my last visit, my doctor (the same one who scolded me for spending too much time on my computer) told me that if I didn’t lose a significant amount of weight soon, I’d likely be dead within five years. I had several health pre-crisis-stage issues, all of which she said were being caused by my small body attempting to provide life support for way too many pounds. She said slow and gradual wasn’t going to cut it in my case, and I wasn’t healthy enough for surgery (which I don’t want anyway).
She put me on an extreme rapid weight-loss program called Medifast, which used to be available by prescription only. It’s changed a bit since then — instead of just six chalky shakes per day, now you have the option of doing five Medifast “meals” plus one “Lean and Green” meal each day. And the Medifast menu has expanded to include bars, soups, oatmeals, powdered eggs, and a couple of things they call “chili” and “beef stew.” All portions are one cup or less in volume. Basically, except for the L&G meal, you are on a post-gastric-bypass diet without the surgery. Including your L&G meal, you’re taking in 800-1000 calories per day. The idea is to get into and maintain a fat-burning state without veering into starvation mode, which actually slows weight loss as your body attempts to save itself.
It was living hell for the first two weeks. I hated this program like I have never hated any other. I love to eat, and suddenly I could only have one meal a day, and that is just meat and vegetables. None of my favorite vegetables either, like peas, carrots or corn — mostly leafy green stuff, UGH. No legumes or grains at all. And my beloved milk? Two tablespoons a day. I find that worse than none, so I don’t even use that extra. Shakes, soups and bars for the other five meals. The soups and bars are actually good, but the shakes taste exactly like barium. None of it is food you’d choose to eat. I was miserable. The one misery missing was HUNGER. I don’t understand how it’s possible, but if you space your “feedings” properly, you don’t feel much physical hunger. The mental hunger is what’s tough. And believe me, that was a battle.
I missed eating. I missed flavor. I missed the pleasure and joy of a delicious, filling meal. Most of all, I was struggling to survive without my sole source of pleasure and comfort and fulfillment. That emptiness inside me that I’ve always filled with food was gaping open, bleeding and raw. I felt like I was floundering in pain and grief with no anesthetic to turn to. Nothing to ease my stress. Nothing to brighten my day or lift my mood when things are tough. Nothing to look forward to. If nothing else, the Medifast program showed me how warped my relationship with food was. I hadn’t gotten so fat by being hungry all the time; those pounds were gained by making food my dearest friend and closest companion. Food was my medicine, my rewards, my security blanket, my recreation. And it was gone. I am not exaggerating when I say that I went through withdrawal. I also cycled through all the stages of grief within a three-week period.
What got me through it? Unwillingness to die was #1. I’m not afraid of death, I’m just not ready yet. My Health Coach was (and continues to be) a godsend. I am so thankful that my initial google of Medifast led me to her website, where I enrolled. Both times I was about to quit, she helped me focus on the positive rather than the negative. And she taught me how to “legally” enhance the MF meals so they are more enjoyable. The weight coming off so quickly was amazing and highly motivating. And above all, Bret has supported me every step of the way. It hasn’t been easy for him. One night he actually had to talk me out of a suicide plan. He quit smoking (after 40 years!) a week before I started Medifast, so you can imagine there were a few times it wasn’t pretty at our house. But mostly, we were supportive and encouraging with each other, sometimes even making jokes about the agony. I truly believe us breaking our respective addictions simultaneously helped each of us stay strong. We inspired each other to keep going.
We are now both into smoother waters, comfortable with the lifestyle changes. We’ve lost all desire to “cheat” or give up, and are enjoying the benefits of improved health. We are daily astounded at how much easier we can breathe already, and how much more energy we both have. I still have a long way to go in my program, but am thrilled and proud about my progress so far. I feel so different inside, both physically and emotionally. Who would have believed three weeks could make such a difference? I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel (and look!) in six months!
Oh. My. Godsmack. As of Saturday morning, I have lost THIRTY POUNDS!!! IN SIX WEEKS!!!
