Pseudotherapy

Spent the day helping the OC Princess celebrate her 36th birthday, with Neil and Sophia. Spent tonight sorting through all the photos I took, and uploading them to Flickr. Go check out my pics and Hilly’s, and see what a fun time we had!

More tomorrow. Tonight, BED.

We all know and love Hilly, Queen of Blogistan, who will celebrate her natal anniversary tomorrow. For those of you pondering what to gift her with, here’s a handy list of things to avoid!

1. A copy of The Secret. Hilly sez: Don’t throw good money away on bad bullshit.
2. A subscription to O Magazine. Oprah in any medium does not dampen our girl’s panties.
3. Ballerina flats. Flat hair and flat shoes equal fashion faux pas.
4. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective on DVD. Two words: Jim Carrey.
5. McDonald’s gift certificates. Mickey Mouse, woo hoo!!! Mickey D’s, projectile spewage.
6. LipFusion XL. Uh yeah, Hilly needs lip plumper like I need ass plumper. Maybe even less.
7. Season Three of American Idol. Or any season, for that matter. Just … don’t.
8. A Garth Brooks CD. There’s just not enough beer in the world to make Hil tolerate country music.
9. Dinner at Sushi On The Rock. And again with the projectile hurling!
10. The blue pill. She’ll take Cold Reality for $1000, Alex.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HILLY-SUE!
[tags] Snackiepoo, birthday, just say no[/tags]

Oy, I’m so tired. Since I impulsively took Monday afternoon off to have a gabfest with Hilly, I’ve been double-timing it at work, even starting at 7 yesterday. Gotta do it again? today, too. It’s really exhausting to sit in one position for nine straight hours. I need to set an alarm and make myself get up and walk around every couple hours.

I’m really just posting today to share my new favorite picture of Juli:

Isn’t my daughter sooo beautiful?

[tags]Mother love[/tags]

Not counting the “Big Three”

1. Damon B. I lost my computer virginity under his gentle tutelage, and that earns him top spot on this list. Damon was the first genuine computer god I ever knew, and still works in the IT field. When the Macintosh SE in my office died, he gutted the case and installed a pothos plant. Best memory: Summer of 1993, when we competed to see who could conquer The Secret of Monkey Island first.
2. Gordon M. The only “boyfriend” I had in the 20 years between my marriages. It was a platonic relationship ? we dated for 2? years and never even kissed ? but it was wonderful to spend time with such an intelligent guy. The voice of one of my current co-workers sounds exactly like Gordon’s, and hearing it makes me miss those wild and crazy Saturday night shifts at the T-A. Best memory: Coming out of the anesthesia after major surgery to find Gordon holding my hand, coaxing me awake.
3. Rick B. Although he’s been my ex-husband’s best friend since kindergarten, Rick refused to take sides in our battles and remained my friend long after the divorce. He also mastered the skill of being a fair and competent supervisor (mine) at work, while being totally uninhibited outside the workplace. Best memory: Rick coming to work in two different shoes, which he blamed on dressing in the dark. Okay, but the brown shoe was a slip-on and the black one was a lace-up! [By the way, that anecdote won me my very first copy of After Dark in an online writing contest.]
4. Eddie T. I fell for him in sixth grade, because he looked like Paul McCartney and wrote like John Lennon. His looks catapulted him to super-popularity in junior high, and I was relegated to fall-back status, the girl-between-girlfriends. It didn’t quench the flame of my torch, though time and distance eventually did. Last I heard, he’d become a studio guitarist in L.A. Best memory: My first slow dance, with Eddie at his 13th birthday party, in an awesome dress my mom had made to my specifications.
5. Bob L. I met Bob in 1969 when we were fellow hippies at Poway High, and we’ve been friends ever since. There is no stage of my adult life that Bob has not been part of. He’s known me as neurotic single, unhappy wife, serene single mom, giddy girlfriend and blissful second-marriage wife. [Bob! Why weren't you at either of my weddings?!?!] Meantime, he’s dealt with some tough burdens in his own life, but never lost his cheerful optimism. I love you, Commack Riviera! Best memory: After meeting my infant daughter for the first time, Bob telling me: “Ya done good, Suzi-Q.”
6. Patrick C. One of the nuttiest people I’ve ever known, Patrick was all about the fun. In between delivering our copy to us, he’d be singing into a pica pole or dancing a la Footloose. He was also an outspoken proponent of gay rights, and delighted in mocking stereotypes. Patrick often made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. Best memory: Two a.m. on a Sunday, I’d been crying about some guy I was crushing on, and Patrick decided he could best help me by painting my toenails. It worked.
7. Tom N. If I hadn’t already been married when we met, I might have married Tom. There was an undeniable, strong attraction between us which we danced around (literally!) and only spoke of once (one of those “if this, if that” conversations). He was the Dago of Chick, Spick and Dago (I was the Chick, Rick B was the Spick), and our good times usually involved belting out oldies from the ’60s. Best memory: After he’d moved back to Chicago, Tom called me at work on my birthday to serenade me with “Happy Happy Birthday Baby.”
8. Ken W. During the 17 months that I worked at the Poway News-Chieftain, Ken did his best to convince me that we were meant to be together. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone so obsessed with me, but not at all in a scary way. He was incredibly sweet and charming, and actually made me wish I could fall in love with him because he would’ve been an awesome boyfriend! I still have the gorgeous love letters he sent me after I left Poway. Best memory: An early-summer day when we took our cameras and rode his motorcycle around Palomar Mountain. I don’t even like motorcycles, but that day was perfect.
9. Evan G. I knew his parents before he was conceived. His mom and I were pregnant at the same time. He and Juli played together as toddlers. They went to school together, grew up together. I wanted this boy for my son-in-law second only to Wil Wheaton. Evan’s sooo close to perfect … except that there’s no magic between Juli and him. They love each other dearly, but never fell in love. Evan recently got married. Some mother, somewhere, fell on her knees that day and thanked everything holy. It wasn’t me. :cry:
10. Dave2. If you’ve ever met Dave2, you don’t even have to ask why he’s on here. (Plus, he paid me to include him.)

[tags]Men, friends, love, unforgettable[/tags]

From: hilly@work.com
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2007 8:24 AM
To: sj@work.com
Subject: Cell Phone Love

Why do you keep calling and hanging up on me? LOL!

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From: sj@work.com
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2007 8:32 AM
To: hilly@work.com
Subject: RE: Cell Phone Love

WHAT?!?! I don’t even have the cell phone today. Bret does!!!

Damn it, that’s using up our expensive minutes!!!!!!

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From: hilly@work.com
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2007 8:33 AM
To: sj@work.com
Subject: RE: Cell Phone Love

He must be accidentally hitting it with his something or other!

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From: sj@work.com
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2007 8:35 AM
To: hilly@work.com
Subject: RE: Cell Phone Love

Yeah, well it BETTER be accidentally!!! ;)

* * *

When I called Bret and told him to take the cell phone out of his pocket and why, his response was, “Well, it does have a mind of its own.” He was not talking about the phone.

[tags]Cell phones, email[/tags]