The Incredible Shrinking Woman
First, thanks to everyone for your congratulations and support for my weight-loss efforts. Believe me, they are welcome and needed.
Several people expressed interest in how I lost 20 pounds in 21 days, so I thought I’d explain. I haven’t mentioned anything about it until now because, honestly, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stick it out. I didn’t want to make a big announcement that I was embarking on yet another diet, only to drop the whole thing ten days later. I’m over the toughest part now, or so I’m told, so I feel comfortable talking about it.
At my last visit, my doctor (the same one who scolded me for spending too much time on my computer) told me that if I didn’t lose a significant amount of weight soon, I’d likely be dead within five years. I had several health pre-crisis-stage issues, all of which she said were being caused by my small body attempting to provide life support for way too many pounds. She said slow and gradual wasn’t going to cut it in my case, and I wasn’t healthy enough for surgery (which I don’t want anyway).
She put me on an extreme rapid weight-loss program called Medifast, which used to be available by prescription only. It’s changed a bit since then — instead of just six chalky shakes per day, now you have the option of doing five Medifast “meals” plus one “Lean and Green” meal each day. And the Medifast menu has expanded to include bars, soups, oatmeals, powdered eggs, and a couple of things they call “chili” and “beef stew.” All portions are one cup or less in volume. Basically, except for the L&G meal, you are on a post-gastric-bypass diet without the surgery. Including your L&G meal, you’re taking in 800-1000 calories per day. The idea is to get into and maintain a fat-burning state without veering into starvation mode, which actually slows weight loss as your body attempts to save itself.
It was living hell for the first two weeks. I hated this program like I have never hated any other. I love to eat, and suddenly I could only have one meal a day, and that is just meat and vegetables. None of my favorite vegetables either, like peas, carrots or corn — mostly leafy green stuff, UGH. No legumes or grains at all. And my beloved milk? Two tablespoons a day. I find that worse than none, so I don’t even use that extra. Shakes, soups and bars for the other five meals. The soups and bars are actually good, but the shakes taste exactly like barium. None of it is food you’d choose to eat. I was miserable. The one misery missing was HUNGER. I don’t understand how it’s possible, but if you space your “feedings” properly, you don’t feel much physical hunger. The mental hunger is what’s tough. And believe me, that was a battle.
I missed eating. I missed flavor. I missed the pleasure and joy of a delicious, filling meal. Most of all, I was struggling to survive without my sole source of pleasure and comfort and fulfillment. That emptiness inside me that I’ve always filled with food was gaping open, bleeding and raw. I felt like I was floundering in pain and grief with no anesthetic to turn to. Nothing to ease my stress. Nothing to brighten my day or lift my mood when things are tough. Nothing to look forward to. If nothing else, the Medifast program showed me how warped my relationship with food was. I hadn’t gotten so fat by being hungry all the time; those pounds were gained by making food my dearest friend and closest companion. Food was my medicine, my rewards, my security blanket, my recreation. And it was gone. I am not exaggerating when I say that I went through withdrawal. I also cycled through all the stages of grief within a three-week period.
What got me through it? Unwillingness to die was #1. I’m not afraid of death, I’m just not ready yet. My Health Coach was (and continues to be) a godsend. I am so thankful that my initial google of Medifast led me to her website, where I enrolled. Both times I was about to quit, she helped me focus on the positive rather than the negative. And she taught me how to “legally” enhance the MF meals so they are more enjoyable. The weight coming off so quickly was amazing and highly motivating. And above all, Bret has supported me every step of the way. It hasn’t been easy for him. One night he actually had to talk me out of a suicide plan. He quit smoking (after 40 years!) a week before I started Medifast, so you can imagine there were a few times it wasn’t pretty at our house. But mostly, we were supportive and encouraging with each other, sometimes even making jokes about the agony. I truly believe us breaking our respective addictions simultaneously helped each of us stay strong. We inspired each other to keep going.
We are now both into smoother waters, comfortable with the lifestyle changes. We’ve lost all desire to “cheat” or give up, and are enjoying the benefits of improved health. We are daily astounded at how much easier we can breathe already, and how much more energy we both have. I still have a long way to go in my program, but am thrilled and proud about my progress so far. I feel so different inside, both physically and emotionally. Who would have believed three weeks could make such a difference? I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel (and look!) in six months!
September 10th, 2008 at 9:30 am
I’m glad you’ve found something that’s working for you and the support from family and strangers (and friends) to help you through it. I’m so proud of you SJ!!! Way to go.
suze’s last blog post: discovering my inner fashionista…
September 10th, 2008 at 9:38 am
So is this program phased? Do you get to start eating different foods again, or do you have to stick with the meals forever?
Good for you for being able to stick with it! I think it would have been impossible for me.
kilax’s last blog post: Thinking about it
September 10th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Extreme situations (near death) require extreme changes. I’m glad you powered through. I can only imagine how hard it must have been in your house while Bret was quitting smoking and you were starting this new eating regime. Holy crap!
sizzle’s last blog post: Your Reaction
September 10th, 2008 at 10:47 am
That’s so cool. I need to get off my ass and do something like that again.
OK, now, please let me know if you’d rather meet or eat somewhere other than SB Bar & Grille. Whatever you want is good with us. See ya. :)
September 10th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I’m literally sitting here with my jaw on the desk! Amazing and inspiring SJ! I can’t imagine how you got through the last few weeks but now that you are seeing the fantastic results it must be making you feel like it’s worth it. Bravo to you, and Bret!
Penelope’s last blog post: Not one of my better days.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Congrats on your 20 lbs. gone SJ! I think it’s incredible that you and Bret are still alive
I’m glad you are past the rough stuff and that you have found your groove - bummer about the pink eye.
A huge ^5 to you both, way to go!
Foo’s last blog post: Photo suckage…
September 10th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Suze: Thank you, hon! You’ve been such an inspiration to me. I never in a million years imagined myself on something this drastic, but it’s turning out to be just right for me.
Kim: The program has three phases: weight loss, transition, and maintenance. How long those phases are is determined by the amount of weight you have to lose. I will be in Transition and Maintenance as long or longer than I’ll be in the weight loss phase. And they tell you flatly that if you don’t complete Transition and Maintenance, you’ll almost certainly regain the weight, because those are when you re-train yourself in appropriate eating and lifestyle habits.
Sizzle: And I’m not naive enough to believe there aren’t still some rough patches ahead, too. But we’re glad to be suffering together.
ajooja: Are you kidding me?!?! I am totally looking forward to SBB&G’s grilled lobster taco, even if I do have to wrap it in a lettuce leaf instead of a tortilla.
Penelope: I definitely feel like it’s worth it now, but the middle part of those three weeks, I was looking for a cliff to jump off! I’m especially looking forward to when other people start noticing the difference in me.
Foo: Thank you so much! We’re both excited to see what the next few months bring, too. [MANDATORY CLOTHES SHOPPING!!!
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September 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Okay, while I’m not jealous of the method, I’m still ravenously jealous of the results.
kapgar’s last blog post: Just to hit the ball and touch ‘em all…
September 10th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Again, congratulations momma!
Here’s the thing….you and I seem a lot alike in that we have to push ourselves past that initial stage where we feel like things are literally being taken from us. For me, it almost feels like someone is deliberately trying to ruin my whole life when I am denied food. Yes, it’s a bit cuckoo but you know what I mean. I am proud of you for making it through because, as you know, the reward is so amazing.
Hilly’s last blog post: The Most I’ll Ever Say About Religion On My Blog (II)
September 10th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
I don’t eat a lot now. Sick, isn’t it? Cup of coffee and a breakfast bar. Sometimes a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, usually just a bottle of water and a diet soda. Dinner is whatever. I stress so hard I don’t get that hungry on a day to day basis. But take me to El Torito for Sunday brunch? I can suck up a lot of salad and menudo and machaca.
Good for you on the health stuff and weigh loss! Just imagine how different things will be if you keep losing!
September 10th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
You’re on! See you Saturday!
September 10th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Kevin: I get that. But be glad you don’t have to go to such extremes.
Hilly: Yep, I am BAD about feeling deprived. It feels like I’m being punished, even when I’m the one making the choice. Thank God I’m past that point now, and starting to get rewarded in other forms, like new clothes and compliments. It makes the battle so much easier.
Winter: I’m looking forward to getting below the weight I was at when Bret and I got together! It’s gonna be awesome. And it just seems so easy now. All I have to do is keep doing what I’m doing.
ajooja: Woo hoo!!! See you at South Beach Saturday at 7-ish!!!
September 11th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I lost 40 lbs over a five month period and then I hit the plateau from hell that will not quit. I even gained some of the weight back. I wasn’t on such a strict plan, but had the same feeling that I was being deprived. So I’m really glad to see that you have been able to get past that part of it - and it renews my determination to change my relationship with food once and for all. :)
Cap’s last blog post: They call me hell
September 18th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
That is an incredible accomplishment. Good for you.
Megan’s last blog post: Help Wanted
September 21st, 2008 at 10:02 am
Cap: I am TERRIFIED of hitting my first plateau. They are soooo frustrating. Maybe you’ll find something here that will help you.
Megan: Thank you! And thanks for stopping by.