I want …
Thanks to Carolyn for this post’s inspiration.
I want to:
avoid the drama shitstorm polluting the blogiverse lately
have five pairs of pants that actually fit me properly
become a strong person, mentally and physically
read books aloud to my husband like we used to do
go on more photography-geared day trips
I want to think:
that I can change my mind without being accused of hypocrisy
that someday I will finish one of my novels (any one)
that people miss me when I’m not around
that I am not the failure I think I am
positively even when feeling negative
I want to learn:
to surf
to speak Spanish fluently
to think before I speak/write/publish
to make perfect pie crust
teleportation
I want to see:
my daughter in a healthy, loving, committed relationship
women treat their husbands with the same degree of respect and
M consideration they give their friends
smaller numbers when I’m standing on the scale
London in the fog, Dublin in the rain, Edinburgh in the gloaming
a sincere heart and a generous spirit in people I care about
I want to try:
to be less paranoid
going for a 30-minute walk daily
applying the basics of my work ethic to my personal life
getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night
living The Buddha’s teachings, not just knowing them
I want to tell:
my daughter not to fear getting hurt … because you do survive
my husband that he HAS to quit smoking
my niece how much I enjoy her companionship
my blog friends how much they all mean to me
someone what I suspect, and why … but I don’t trust anyone enough
I want to touch:
the rock-hard muscles in my husband’s arms
the souls of people who read my words
cool fresh sheets spread snugly over our new bed
anything with my right-hand fingers and feel it
the ground on Mars in this lifetime
I want to smell:
the scent of my daughter’s hair
the breeze coming off the ocean
almond-scented bubbles floating over my wet skin
the ink and paper of my own novels
the spiciness of wet eucalyptus after a rain
I want to feel:
my husband’s warm breath on the back of my neck
the firmness of muscle under my skin instead of marshmallowy fat
wet sand buffing my heels as I wade along the shoreline
the touch of my mother’s hand again … just once
like I matter in the world
I want to stop:
sabotaging my own efforts toward fitness
bleeding from cuts that should have healed long ago
staying up too late
being too lazy to do housework regularly
grieving for what might have been
I want to let go of:
my self-loathing
guilt about past mistakes
impossible dreams that will never become reality
my resentment for what I lost in the Georgia debacle
the need for approval
What do you want?
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
I really liked this one. There are many of these that sound just like what I feel.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Really lovely and honest. I hope you don’t mind if steal it :D
Where is it that you guys go that you get these shitstorms? I have heard Dave refer to this sort of thing, too. I think of sweet Kilax and these other nice bloggers that we have in common, I go to their blogs too, and …? Just great posts, no drama.
Catherine’s last blog post: “Only Connect.” - E.M. Forster
July 24th, 2008 at 6:57 am
More money. Security that comes with more money. A credit score that would allow me to buy a new car or a house. More money so I could afford the new car or house. Wait. I said that didn’t I? Bah… all my wants are tied to money. If I didn’t have to stress over money so much, I think I would be quite happy and my asthma wouldn’t bug.
Cool meme.
July 24th, 2008 at 7:08 am
This is awesome, SJ. Thanks for sharing so openly.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Melanie: I found this to be very cathartic.
Catherine: Please do steal it - I’d love to read yours. As for the shitstorm, I am not involved personally. It’s basically misunderstandings and differences of opinion escalated beyond understanding. And it makes me sad.
Winter: Been there, done that, don’t miss it at all. You have my sympathies.
Sizzle: Woo hoo!!! You’re back!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:30 am
This is really awesome! First of all, I applaud you for your openness and secondly, I am totally stealing this!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I love this one! LOVE!
Good job!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Yep, I’ll be stealing this one, too. Good stuff.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I LOVE this! Wonderful!
Might have to steal too - if that’s okay?
Penelope’s last blog post: Reaping the rewards.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Hilly, Adena, Karl and Penelope: Thank you all, and I hope to soon be reading your versions of this (which I now consider my personal To-Do List).
July 24th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
very real. and honest. and i love it. great job. xoxo
July 25th, 2008 at 9:20 am
I want to learn:
to surf
Too.
; )
John’s last blog post: Shape Shifting
July 25th, 2008 at 10:13 am
excellent list - I think I will also steal and save for later. Since it’s close to a meme I just did.
I am so out of the blogosphere shitstorm loop. Which is good, I think. But I hate feeling left out too ;)
suze’s last blog post: do i love me? my oh my…
July 26th, 2008 at 5:43 am
I love this list.
We miss you when you’re not HERE, so I bet your real life friends miss you even more.
Amen on “women treat their husbands with the same degree of respect and
M consideration they give their friends.” I meet a friend for lunch the other day… I forgot that all she ever does it talk about how much her husband disappoints her. Her theory (seriously) is that “Women should spend all day with other women, for substance, then spend only the nights with their husbands.”
WHAT? I have never meet a man-basher like her. I love my husband. I would spend ALL of my time with him if I could. She’s so bitter… and she’s only 26!
kilax’s last blog post: Friday Question #33