Celebrate or die

I am so screwed. Four days until my blogiversary celebration week, and I’m in the abyss. Bottom of the black pit. Actually dreamed last night that Dave2 was helping me commit suicide by showing me the best way to open my veins. Woke up this morning depressed to still be alive.

But I CANNOT flake on this celebration, so the next four days are going to be a MAJOR battle of will over want. Although I want to retreat to fetal position in a dark room, I will keep working on my posts and plans for next week.

It may be the first time in history a blog has literally saved someone’s life.

18 Responses to “Celebrate or die”

  1. Hilly Says:

    I’m sorry that you are down that far into the abyss…I’m here to talk as I’m sure are many of us. Except Dave…let’s not call him for advice, k? ;)

    Hilly’s last blog post: Jinkies, Where Are My Glasses?

  2. sizzle Says:

    Should I be worried about you? Because I am.

    sizzle’s last blog post: Pillow Talk

  3. Kyra Says:

    Whoa there! If you need a stranger to yell at, I’m here. ;) I’m sorry things are so bad right now. I understand how you feel.

    Kyra’s last blog post: Hatred

  4. Dave2 Says:

    Sweet! Now people will nickname me Dr. Daveorkian!

    Feel better. :-)

    Dave2’s last blog post: Convenience

  5. SJ Says:

    Oh man, thanks, you guys. You cannot even imagine how much it means to me at this moment to know people care about me. REALLY need it.

  6. Penelope Says:

    Oh yikes that’s an image I could have done without!
    Seriously, don’t put pressure on yourself just because it’s a blogiversary. You can throw a party anytime, right? Take care of YOU! :o)

    Penelope’s last blog post: Maybe…just maybe.

  7. John Says:

    Oh SJ, I’m sure it’ll be wonderful. Why all the freaky deeky? Relax sistah, it’s a party, not a funeral. Well, you know…unless Dave…

    My duckies are pretty much in a row except for putting it all together. Of course, your show is much bigger than mine. : ) Can’t wait!

    John’s last blog post: Learn To Be Still

  8. kapgar Says:

    Definitely feel better, okay?

    kapgar’s last blog post: All we are is just another brick in the wall…

  9. SJ Says:

    Uh, just to clarify: My dark mood has nothing at all to do with my upcoming blogiversary. Except that the planning thereof is preventing me from drinking the Kool-Aid.

  10. Bec Says:

    Having been at the bottom of the barrel I know all the advice in the world isn’t going to help but I (and most of the interwebs) are here if you need us.

    And if you are going to dream about Dave, stay away from sharp objects!

    Bec’s last blog post: My Day

  11. Mattie Says:

    I came out of lurkdom because I’m worried about you. I wish there was some way I could snap you out of this funk.

    And I get the feeling that telling you that “this too shall pass” or any other psychobabble because I can tell you’re in no mood for cliches.

    And I suck at telling jokes. I always mess up the punch line.

    Oh, I’ve got it. I could tell you something really stupid I did today. That should help …

    Okay so here’s what happened. I always balance my checkbook. I never bounce a check. I am almost obsessive about it. Daily. Several times a day.

    In fact, I always write out my checks before they are due, enter my deposits before I actually get them, and come the 1st of the month, everything is ready to go. Plus I know how much “mad money.” I have left for the month.

    Since it’s almost the end of the month and July 1 is right around the corner, I did all of the above.

    Sometime this morning, I asked my daughter to drop the Netflix video and whatever other mail had to go out. She did.

    About 3 hours after the mail lady picked up the Netflix movie AND all those bills I wrote out (not my daughter’s fault, they had stamps she thought they should go out as well) I went into a panic.

    I had to call everyone I sent a check to and beg them not to cash the checks because I had no money in the bank to cover them and mailing them was a mistake.

    Feel better? Yeah, I thought you might.

    When you wake up tomorrow morning, know that total strangers are thinking about you and wanting you to be happier.

  12. Juli Says:

    you can do it! xoxo

  13. kilax Says:

    We miss you. Don’t leave us. Talk to us :)

    kilax’s last blog post: How to use the dishwasher

  14. SJ Says:

    Again, my deepest gratitude to every one of you for your caring support. It got me through yesterday, and helped me climb a few rungs on the ladder out of the pit.

  15. suze Says:

    Oh SJ - I’m sorry I didn’t see this until today. Great big hugs to you!! If you need me, you know how to reach me (and I’m sending you my work email addy so you can reach me during the day) - I’m here for you.

    More big hugs.

    suze’s last blog post: breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out?

  16. SJ Says:

    Thank you, Suze, you’re a good blogdaughter. :pph:

    SJ’s last blog post: Breathe

  17. adena Says:

    I didn’t see this until today, either! I’m sorry!

    I’m glad you’re feeling better. I don’t know as I’ve ever been in such a dark place, but I think I understand a little.

    If you ever need anything, to talk, or whatever, know that I’m always around, okay?

    adena’s last blog post: Murder: In Two Parts

  18. Carolyn Bahm Says:

    I’m another latecomer to this post. Glad to see the follow-up where you’re in a a better place. And I’m so glad you reached out for your internet buds & got a good response when you were so down. Sending healing thoughts your way.

    {hugs} - Carolyn

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