Merry effing Christmas
Bret and I did our Christmas shopping last night. He got me a lovely set of x-rays and a bottle of my favorite antibiotic, and I gave him a state-of-the-art cystocentesis and coordinating blood panel. Lynksis gave the nurses new respect for the power of Zen, and we gave the vet my entire paycheck. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Lynksis is sick. Sicker than we knew. Mucho dinero sick. “We’ll try this first, but it may come down to surgery” sick. “Watch for these signs, and if you see them, get her to emergency immediately” sick. She has stones in her bladder, two that were clear on the x-rays, a possible third that wasn’t so defined. The stones are shedding crystals into her urine, causing irritation in the urethra, resulting in an infection. We will find out later today whether the stones are caused by highly-alkaline urine or highly-acid urine, and that will determine the course of treatment. One type can often be dissolved by a special diet, the other type has to be removed surgically. I can’t remember which is which. With both types, if a stone gets lodged in her urethra and isn’t removed quickly, she could die within 24 hours. Hence the danger signs we have to watch for.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my cats. For Bret and me, they are the children we never had together. Our three human girls are all grown up and living on their own, so our three kittygirls are our kids. We would pretty much do anything for them, and we do our best to provide them with a high standard of living. We are both grateful for a good, caring vet hospital and steady paychecks so we can afford to get Lynksis the treatment she needs.
That said, I am crying right now. Because that check I wrote to the vet last night? That was supposed to give Juli the Chrsitmas I couldn’t give her last year because I was unemployed. I knew I couldn’t give her the sofa she so desperately wants/needs, but I’d planned to give her a gift card of as high an amount as I could manage, money she could put toward the sofa purchase. Now, there’s no money. Now, I won’t be able to give her that gift card until January. Now, I have to greet her on Christmas Day bearing nothing more than a filled stocking and the few small gifts I’ve already purchased. It’s killing me to know she’s going to have a crappy Christmas again this year. I feel like a total failure as a mother.
My two inner moms are totally at war right now, and my heart is the battlefield.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:28 am
oh no! that’s so sad- about your poor sick kitty and how you are feeling as a mother. i’ve never met you but you seem to be an incredibly kind and giving mom. i know the holidays can put that pressure on people to give monetarily but you will when you can. the important thing is you love your daughter and your cat(s) and that makes you a good person! i bet you raised a daughter who is understanding about these sorts of things.
be kind to yourself.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:20 am
*HUGS*
You know I mean it when I type that! I hope the day finds you in better spirits and I am so sorry for both things you are feeling.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am
SJ - I admire your deep love and devotion as a mother to your cats - I would do and have done the same for my dog. Not having any children…I would pretty much go in debt up to my eyeballs to take care of Higgins.
Your daughter will understand and on the upside…way bigger sales after Christmas, she will find an amazing couch. You are an awesome person and I’m sure an even more amazing Mom…stop doubting that and enjoy the time with your family at Christmas…don’t let the gift giving part ruin that.
Hugs and I hope Lynksys feels better soon.
December 13th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Juli is a sweet as her mother. She will understand. Christmas will never be crappy if you can be with family and enjoy each other’s company! It’s really, really NOT about the gifts when you get to be with warm and loving people like you and Bret.
I pray and hope that Lynksys is better soon. Take care of your family :) Don’t feel guilty about it. A lot of us understand the love for a feline :)
HUGS :)
December 13th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about Lynksys, but Juli will understand. And when we love our kitties like babies, we have to do what we can for them. You are so far from being a bad mamma, don’t beat yourself up on this.
GREAT BIG GIANT HUGS.
December 13th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I feel so sorry for you, and both of your babies. From everything I’ve been reading all over the place in blog-land, there are many of us who are having a difficult time this year. I hope my warm loving telepathic hugs reach you.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Thank you, everyone. Your kind words and reassurances mean so much to me! I wish I could hug each of you in person. I know Juli has a kind heart; I just hope she doesn’t think I love my cats more than her!
We are still waiting to hear from the vet …
December 14th, 2007 at 12:52 am
Hope your kitty is feeling better real soon…. YOU are the BEST mom! Your girls and kitties should be proud.
:)
December 14th, 2007 at 10:06 am
It’s fine, Moma. Take care of Lynksys. The couch can wait. I love you.
December 14th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Sorry Lynksys is sick and hope he’s on the mend real soon.
December 16th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Sorry to hear about Linksys’ continued ailing. I’m holding out hope for him. I really am.